Always A Rainbow After Rain

Insecurities. Everybody has them. Whether they be about your personality or appearance, everyone has something they don't like about themselves.

I don't want this to be a stereotypical 'Don't bully people' post, but I wanted to raise the issue, just as a little reminder that we are all human and everybody has feelings whether they're made obvious or not.

As I'm finishing up my time at high school I look back and think about how I was lucky enough never to be bullied throughout my time at school. A few remarks from silly pre-pubescent boys were made about my weight and my (in admittance quite chubby) face in my early years of high school, but nothing that was serious enough to be declared bullying. 

However as I was about 13 whilst these remarks were being said, I didn't really know how to respond. I had a brilliant time at primary school and no one ever mentioned appearance or properly insulted anyone based on it. So when I did get insulted once I started high school, I didn't know how to deal with it and ended up getting really upset over it. I remember at one stage I thought my face was so fat and chubby that I began sucking in my cheeks to make my face look slimmer. Don't worry, soon enough I realised I was being absolutely ridiculous.

But it just goes to show how much words can effect somebody; you don't know what a person is going through so it really may not be the time to make a little remark on someone's acne or hair colour or teeth etc, even if it is only meant as a joke. I appreciate that the insults made towards me were only ever meant as a bit of banter and none of the boys who were making these insults ever meant to upset me. They were young, immature and silly young 13 year old boys. (however unfortunately some of which still haven't grown up) 

As you get older you realise that people's opinions really don't matter. In saying that I am being slightly hypocritical as yes, I do still care about what people think of me. I would love to sit here and tell you I didn't but that's not the truth, I care if someone thinks I'm mean, or bitchy, or annoying or ugly. I try my best every day to make sure I don't give anyone a reason to hate me, but this isn't the way you should be. Having said that, I do stick up for myself. Just because I want people to like me, it doesn't mean that if someone is acting horribly towards me, I won't get angry and confront them. In fact sometimes my quick temper has got me into an argument or two...

But back to the point, if you are getting insulted at school by silly young boys, don't worry they will eventually grow up...well most of them anyway. If it's more serious however and you think you are a victim of bullying then please do tell someone and I'm sure you'll find someone more than willing to help you out. 

Chin up buttercup. 

Till next time 

Katherine x

The Best Is Yet To Come

So today's post is going to be about the end of Year 11. For those who do not go to school in Britain, Year 11 is when you are between the ages of 15-16 and its the final year of high school, so we have our very important GCSE exams in the summer.

We're already in spring and time is seriously ticking away. It feels like only yesterday I was putting up my Christmas tree listening to Wham's 'Last Christmas' and now we're over a quarter through this academic year. Especially as I leave school in May to begin my exams, I have a much shorter school year than usual.

The work load is pure stress. Having to revise for about 10 subjects, plus homework, coursework and catch up sessions after school = My brain exploding. The pressure that is put on us as students is seriously like nothing I've ever experienced before, so particularly for our year group its difficult to really discipline ourselves and realise how important this year is. In fact, last night when I had loads of homework and so much revision to do, I ended up lying on my bedroom floor with a pounding headache telling my self to calm down as I felt mentally pushed to my limit.
Since last night, its made me realise I need to get on top of things, my work and revision isn't going to do itself. But when doing this, if I feel I need a break just to de-stress then I'll allow myself to do so.

Moving onto something much more positive, I have my prom dress! Now I have to admit there is nothing more satisfying than finding a dress you love, trying it on and have it fit like it was made to measure. Mine fit like a glove which made me fall in love with it so much more. I have been one of the people to get their dress sorted out early as my mum and I agreed it would be much better to get my dress and everything sorted before revision really starts to kick off so that I can completely focus on my exams and not my dress. Plus looking online, a lot of the dresses I would have gone for were sold out completely. So I'm glad I got my dress early, because they seem to be selling out fast. In fact, when looking online, I found that my dress wasn't even on the website anymore, and when I ordered it there were only 3 left!

I'm really looking forward to the end of this year, as I feel I'm really ready for a change. I'm not moving school, but staying in my school's Sixth Form, but still the education system will be different and so will the subjects. I get to finally drop subjects like Maths and Science which I despise so much you wouldn't even believe. I'm greatly anticipating being treated like an adult and wearing a new (much nicer) uniform. On a sad note, one of my best friends is most likely leaving our school to go to a different college, so I'm really dreading the day where I have to properly say goodbye to her. (Still hoping she doesn't leave.) We also have a very long summer this year which is motivating me to work hard now.

So in summary, my school life is pretty depressing right now, but I'm highly optimistic about the near future.

Till next time
Katherine x
Also my friend started blogging and she's really great, so go and check her out: http://caitlinlaurengrace.weebly.com/

Till Death Do Us Part

WARNING: The subject I'm going to be talking about maybe a little distressing to some. So this is just a pre-warning that if the discussion of 'Death' freaks you out in any way, you may not feel comfortable reading this post. This may be an exaggeration, but I don't want to be responsible for scaring anyone.

So death. The reason why I find it so utterly terrifying is that its inevitable. Its going to happen to us all someday, and there's nothing we can do about it. Most people say its just like you're eternally sleeping, but I disagree. When you sleep, you dream a lot of the time. But that's due to your brain projecting images of deep thoughts and memories of people and places. But when you die, your entire body shuts down, including your organs. So this means that your brain cannot produce these images anymore, resulting in no dreams. Which leaves me with the question...What happens then?

The world is going to go on for a long time after our generation dies, so that means we are going to be seeing just blackness for a while. Like those nights when you don't dream, but the thing with this is that it eventually ends. We all wake up at some point, but with death that doesn't happen. What do you see, hear, smell? But of course, nothing because you're non-existent anymore.

As a Christian, I'm supposed to believe in Heaven and the after-life; how there's eternal life after this one with God. Do I believe this? Sure I'd love to, but whether I actually do is a different story. I guess you could say I do believe this as I do believe people have soul's within them and its your centre, your core. It makes you who you are but not in a genetic way, more of a spiritual way. And I believe something must happen with this soul, it must remain living, its the part of us that never dies. So yes, in fact I do believe in an after-life.

Sometimes I find myself thinking about this and I end up really freaking myself out. You only get one shot at life, and I find this pretty sad. We're all on a time limit, and we have that certain amount of time to do the best we can with this one life we're given.
But for those whose aren't as lucky as we are, their one life was spent starving and living in poverty, having a disability, living without a parent or parents.

This wasn't meant to turn into anything motivational, but the majority of us need to realise how lucky we are. That we have been lucky enough to receive a good life. And I cannot stress the importance of this, because we only get one of them. This is my motivation to hopefully fulfil my acting dream. Although it may sound cliché, I get one shot at life so I' going to run at it with my arms wide open, trying my best to achieve great things. What's the point in being unhappy in this limited time I've got?

I know this was quite sinister and I turned into a preacher by the end of it, but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Till next time
Katherine x